Michael Owen: Too little too late

The 2001 European footballer is wat United has recently got or should I say United has managed to sign him out of whatever was left after Real’s shoppin spree…

I dun think his form in the last 4 years at EPL has given him any chance to replace Rooney or Berba for the startin lineup but surely he can warm the bench for next 2 yrs like Tevez did and might prove a useful sub for the United…

I was juz tryin to see what changes this summer transfer window might make to the United side..This should be the ideal startin line up as per my opinion(considerin there are no further transfers..)

1. Van Der Sar(I would love to see some fresh pair of legs here)
2. Neville
3. Vidic
4. Ferdinand
5. Evra
6. Carrick
7. Giggs
8. Nani
9. Valencia
10. Rooney
11. Berbatov

Subs:

1. Park Ji Sung
2. Kuszczak
3. Tosic
4. Andersen
5. Owen

And I would surely like to see following players reachin their full potential

1. Rafael
2. Gibson
3. Evans
4. Macheda

Lets see what Sir Alex has in store for our team…

Gay, Proud and Indian

Delhi High Court finally allowed these 3 words to be used in the same sentence, perhaps in the same order as well… In wat is being referred as a historical judgement court legalized homosexuality makin amendments to the section 377…

Well…neither this is a news blog nor m gay but still this judgement has a effect on our lives…How???Thts simple maths lets do it…

As per government estimates there are 932 girls for 1000 boys…Now since gay sex is legal lets assume that there are 10 gay couples/1000 males..This could be more in metro cities but lets be conservative..So there are 20 gays/1000 males…So it means 932 girls/980 straight guys…So talking in the terms in %ges..Its approximately a 1.902% increase of chances for a normal guy of being hooked with a girl…Now thts progress…

On a serious note m glad that our judiciary is not orthodox like our un-honourable ministers and members of parliament..Now its juz upto us as the citizens of this country to give homosexuals the place they deserve in this society..Lets give them their pride back…and as the headline on TIMES NOW said…Gay ho!!! :-)

I wish I was him

“I wish I was him!!”… I ve been suffering from this deadly virus for so long…

Its been like this since a pretty long time now…Perhaps from as long as I remember…Its not what most of the junta would assume it to be--“I miss things in my life therefore I wanna live other’s” I must admit here I ve had an amazin time on this planet till now and I dun repent a single second of if(except few which I spent on hospital beds or in examination halls..) actually its not as deadly as the one in “Taking Lives”…

But somehow a small incident made me to think bout it and change my perception about things around me…This incident happened like a fortnight back and I ve been introspecting myself all along and finally got time/words to pen it all down…

Flash back 14 days(approx)…

There was a tussle goin on between producers and the multiplex owners and poor souls like me had nothin to do..”99” was the movie that came to my rescue…It was the only okayish (at least it seemed okayish) movie in the cinemas at that time so there was no competition…I called up Mak and off we went to Moti Nagar fun cinemas on his scooter…Movie seriously turned out to be okayish..At least I din felt that I have wasted my money as I did for “Mangal Pandey”(Its my benchmark movie to check if a movie was worth it or not)…

On our way back Mak felt that his throat has dried up and he needed some chemicals to get it back to normal….So we took a detour to District Centre to catch up a pint/can of beer each…I use each because most people miss out the article “a” while relating me with beer but for the sake of that junta I would like to enlighten everyone on a fact that I have given up drinkin and its been more that juz couple of days…In fact its been almost a quarter(no not a quarter of whiskey but a quarter of year)..Anyways back to story..So Mak took his regular KF in one hand and fag in another..I decided to try my hands on Breezer(for those who dun know bout this…lets keep it simple its a kind of fruit juice..)..Will write about Breezer and its pros and cons sometime later…

So after this customary detour we boarded our flight and continued our journey back home…After few minutes I saw a guy ridin a scooter and wearin a IIT Delhi T Shirt…Now it doesn’t need any genius to figure out that he was indeed from IIT Delhi(Although I am a genius..)Books in his sidekick confirmed my belief…After seein him my old dream of IITs came back hauntin…Although I never dreamt of IITs not until I finished my B.Tech…but watever it was at that instant I wanted to be there and with this thought came the killer thought “I wish I was him”…

The thoughts and my wish list continued for a lil longer until the traffic halted on a red light… Mak started zippin thru the traffic and some frustrated ppl sittin on 4 wheelers shouted in disgust..But Mak continued as if he was a man on a mission…He went ahead and stopped right beside that IIT guy…Suddenly I saw a pair of crutches in his sidekick along with his Engineering books…I noticed that he was riding the scooter with additional support…All this while I had noticed everythin I wanted to but never noticed the price that comes along with all that…

2 mins back I would have killed someone to live that guy’s life and now… Now I was thankin god for what he has given me…As the light turned green Mak zipped his scooter forward leavin behind a white line of smoke and along with it my so called virus “I wish I was him”…

I am contended with what I have and If I dun have somethin then there are better ways of gettin it rather then bein the person who has it…He might not have everythin else that I desire…

I have always heard that life teaches us lessons..Though m sure I ve learnt a lot of them but this is first one I noticed…See m gettin wiser and humble…. ;-)

The Jersey war

This season has begun on a high note for the football world...Some great spending and some waste signings...Real has been on a shoppin spree maybe coz its been almost 8 yr since they bagged UEFA and even longer since they finished second.

They always poach on the United players be it Nistelrooy, Beckham or Ronaldo they always try to bring them to Madrid but to no good...

I juz wish they invest thier money in better scouting and grooming talent like the English clubs do...

I hope that sanity will prevail...

The last letter

Still don't have anythin' to write..

Hi Xxxxx

How u doin?
Well its been few months since we last xchanged mails and in this span I ve opened my mail umpteen times with the intent of writin a mail but I always got struck @ Subject. I was never able to pick the words to put in that column so always gave up the idea of writin a mail to you. But this time m tryin somethin different m tryin to write the mail first n then will try to write the subject(Hopefully you will get a mail this time)..

So howz Xxxxxxx doin(correct me if I am wrong but as far as I remember his name is Xxxxxxx)..You nevva told me much bout him or perhaps I never asked but whichever the reason be I really dun know much about him except the fact that he is the most lucky man on the earth...

10 lines and m still not able to figure out an apt reason for writin this mail maybe I dun have any or maybe I dun need any..Although I was always @ loss of words whenever I was talkin to you but still I could manage somethin or the other to talk bout but today it seems like I dun have anythin to write apart from the routine hello, how u doin stuff...Things change pretty quickly!!!...

Although this may seem like one of those long texts that I used to send but it is no way near that because I never exercised so much caution while typin any of those maybe I have learnt where to draw the line...And perhaps before I accidentally cross the line drawn by myself, circumstances and society I should wrap this mail up...

Since I wasn't there on ur marriage else would have wished you and ur better half in person and I din had the courage to wish you when we xchanged mails last time though I really wanted to from the bottom of my heart.. Anyways its late then never..
My heartiest congratulations to you and Xxxxxxx once again and I really pray to god that u get everythin in life that you ever wanted..Have a blast..and live life they way you always wanted to free like a bird...

In the meanwhile I ll just sit and pray for that one last moment..Who knows that the almighty might listen to my plea for a change and we might bump into each other someday, somewhere...After all world is a pretty small place...
Take Care

EDIT:PS: I have managed a subject(funny though) this time... :-)
PPS: Although I tried my best to avoid anythin that might bother you but in case anythin did...Then dun worry this is the first and last of any such mail you are gettin from my side...
--
Regards
Xxxxx
Mitch Hedberg - "My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them."


Although had a lot more to write/say but as they say "You had your chances"...

See the stone set in your eyes
See the thorn twist in your side
I wait for you

Sleight of hand and twist of fate
On a bed of nails she makes me wait
And I wait without you

With or without you
With or without you

Through the storm we reach the shore
You give it all but I want more
And Im waiting for you

With or without you
With or without you
I cant live
With or without you

And you give yourself away
And you give yourself away
And you give
And you give
And you give yourself away

My hands are tied
My body bruised, shes got me with
Nothing to win and
Nothing left to lose

And you give yourself away
And you give yourself away
And you give
And you give
And you give yourself away

With or without you
With or without you
I cant live
With or without you
The Joshua Tree--U2

PS: I have tried my best to protect to identity of the persons being referred to in this mail and I won't be responsible for any assumptions whatsoever made about the same.

The Mystery Blogger

There is a news around that someone from the Knight Rider is postin all the dressin room stuff on the internet. The blogger who calls himself fakeiplplayer updates his experiences and the news from the inside @ http://fakeiplplayer.blogspot.com/.

Though its not certain whether he is really a KKR player or not but the kind of publicity he has got I doubt that even AB would have got that on his blog. Much of that could be attributed to Appam Chutiya who is considered as symbol for mockery. But that guy sure have some balls, I saw him few days back in a match against CSKs, Hayden was takin him for a ride hittin him all over the place and when somehow he finally managed to get his wicket(courtesy: loose shot from Hayden) he was back in his true self jumpin and abusin ppl around. Well they always say ki "Impression ek din mein nahin banta".

Anyways back to Mystery Blogger that guy has posted everythin from Warny's plan of boinkin the Shetty sisters to Ravi Shastri's bet with fellow commentators to take Mandira for a bull ride before the tournament is over. Though I doubt that all those ladies might ve read that blog coz we dun get to see Mandira anywhere near Ravi these days, maybe the bet is over and perhaps Mandira would have realized that Ravi is no more a cricketer and so he doesn't handle balls these days...;-)

See there are so many things goin on in my mind but on the similar lines so I ll juz sign off now for the sake of sanity of this blog and come back when I ll have more under 12 stuff to write....

Man Utd are true devils

The Saturday Premier league game between Man Utd and Spurs was anythin but predictable..Two quick goals by Brent and Modric made Harry believe that they had their noses in front and ppl at Anfield were rejoicing but Sir Alex and his devils had somethin else in their mind…

Though the IPL match between Knight Riders and Super Kings was washed out but the old time VJ Gaurav Kapoor was very happy about Liverpool winnin their league match against Hull City…That was during the half time when ManU were behind by 2-0…But it was a matter of only 25 mins after first half that Red Devils had settled their score and repeated the famous Sep 2001 victory over Spurs at Old Trafford in which they were trailing by 3-0 till second half but went on to win the game by 5-3 thanks to hat trick by David Beckham…

Though the story was a bit similar this time around and the second half substitution of Nany by Tevez pumped the Adrenaline and soon they were on top…Rooney and Ronaldo scored two a piece with Bervatov addin insult to the injury by scorin against his former club…

In the end it was true display of the character which Man Utd signifies and was indeed an absolute treat for any Premier League fan…This is wat football is all about….With juz 4 more matches per team and an extra one for the United team left this league more intense and exiting…But for me Man Utd are already the winners with thier emphatic win on Saturday…..

The Splitsvilla theme

MTV Splitsvilla 2 another show that adds to the list of already running reality shows and specially those which focuses on the younger generation. Its one of a kind coz its about Love and the tag line says “Splitsvilla : Where Love is war”.

In the last episode MTV invited the Agnee band which had composed the theme for Roadies as well. This time they came around with absolute magic with pure music. The theme din had any words and was juz a hummin tune but it surely had the power to play the strings on anyone’s heart. Maybe thats wat is called the power of music.

As said that actions speak louder than words then perhaps the music will be able to speak for itself better than me. So enjoy the music and do let me know how it was?

Get this widget | Track details | eSnips Social DNA

Perhaps this will give an idea to you guys while I manage to get the final version of this song.

Schindler’s List

It had been a really long time after Saving Private Ryan that any movie really touched my heart. I had heard a lot about this movie but finally got a chance yesterday to see the magic that Spielberg created with this biographical film about Oskar Schindler who saved lives of more than a thousand polish jews during the second world war.

There is somethin in me that always fantasize me towards anythin related to second world war be it Oskar Schindler or Pvt. James Francis Ryan or even Adolf Hitler on Fox History. Every scene makes me feel that I am a part of that epic. Spielberg adds to the magic in each and every scene like the Omaha beach scene(in Saving Private Ryan) which couldn’t have been replicated in the better way. That scene made its viewers see through what was goin through the minds of those soldiers that landed on that beach on that fateful day.

I am so spellbound with the magic that he created in both the movies that I don’t have anythin much to say or write so I will just end it by urgin everyone goin through this post to watch these movies once.

Whose Oscar is it?

Everybody is goin bonkers since yesterday cheerin, textin n doin so many things...Okay I agree its a great achievement that finally an Indian managed to get the Oscar but in no sense anyone can compare it with Lagaan...For me Lagaan gettin nominated was far big achievement than Slumdog gettin 8 Oscars...

There is a fallacy in this because Slumdog Millionare is not an Indian film and therefore was entitled to be nominated in all the cataegories unlike Lagaan which had to compete against hundreds of other entries for just one category i.e Best foreign film and its the same case with Mother India...So wat does India has to do with Slumdog sweepin Oscars after all...Its not an Indian movie its a British movie which aims to make the mockery of the system here...

Our political parties never leave any opportunity to showcase themselves as the leader of the nation without doin anythin for it...Here is the latest example:
Cong counts 8 Oscars as part of UPA achievements

Well I personally do agree to our political parties for this because the credit for creating so many slums, communal disturbances and thereby makin the environment conducive for Slumdogs to flourish(I still doubt if they can be credit for millionaires as well)..

Whosoever be responsible for this...But Rehman deserves a applaud...

The Story of Kala Bandar

There has been a recent upsurge in the number of movies offering paid preview a day before the actual release.. I also wanted to feel wat it is like watching a movie before it is released..All this coupled with the hype surroundin around Delhi 6(Added with the fact that Delhi being my native place) i decided to go for a pre release. It took few calls, few texts and some pesterin to convince someone to accompany me for the voyage.

08:45 PM
Though a lot happened between the time I inked the plan and this time but most of that is meaningless and not worthy of my precious time so I will quickly jump to the action.
We reached Omaxe Mall, for me it was everythin' but a mall but that was the only option in ggn so had to bear with it..Now we were good 45 minutes early and since there wasn't anythin else to do around there so the best option we had to have some ethanol(I remember it from my experience with Mangal Pandey that this is best thing to have if you are uncertain' about the movie)...So in absence of any bar or pub in that so called mall we finally found a "English wine and beer shop" aka Theka and alongside it was a decent open air restaurant which serves as a drinkin place aka Aahata....

09:00 PM
"Oye chotu!!! Sun yaar 2 Kingfisher light le aa"..
Shardul did some quick calculation in his mind and said
"Abe sun ek kaam kar yaar yaar 3 hi le aa..baad mein time waste hoga"...
The guy took the money went out and came in with 3 chilled bottles of kingfisher(Now you know where did Mallaya got all his money to buy an IPL team..)

09:30 PM
We entered right in time and located out seat..I scanned the nearby area but couldn't locate a single girl..Dunno why I never get to watch a movie with a girl sittin beside me.. :-(
There were customary trailers of other movies and finally the movie started...

About the Movie:
Well movie was Okayish types...Music was pretty good(as expected from Rehman) that kept the interest alive in the movie...The best part of the movie was the performance of actors and screenplay...everybody played their part to the perfection let it be dyin Waheeda Rehman palyin grandma or Divya Dutta playin Jalebi the sweeper or two young kids about 6-8 years goin to Jalebi n sayin ki "Humein mard bana do!!!"....
Though the movie does not have a pretty solid script but the music and screenplay covers for it...Though I had to miss tits and bits here and there in the movie(Thanks to Mr. Mallaya and that 1l of liquid intake) but still it was fun...Movie also stars some characters from RDB like Atul Agnihotri as gobar and Cyrus Sahukar as Suresh who likes to boink the 20 yr old wife of 60 yr old Prem Chopra who survives on Viagra....The movie revolves around a much hyped case of "Monkey Man" that emerged in late nineties as a sign of horror and terror and Delhi and somehow gets lost in that only(named Kala Bandar and so the post)...In all if asked a question whether the Paid Preview paid off or not, well for me it did...

12:30 AM
"Oye ghar chalein ya phir 1-1 beer piyein :-D... "
And the journey continued.....

You Found Me

Thanks to Channel V for picking "The Fray" for their all this month series. I heard this song and it really touched my heart...Will come to the reason later right now I would like to read those lyrics again they were like...

I found God on the corner of 1st and Amistad
Where the West was all but won
All alone, smoking his last cigarette
I said, "Where you been?" He said, "Ask anything"

Where were you when everything was falling apart?
All my days were spent by the telephone that never rang
And all I needed was a call that never came
To the corner of 1st and Amistad

Lost and insecure, you found me, you found me
Lying on the floor surrounded, surrounded
Why'd you have to wait? Where were you? Where were you?
Just a little late, you found me, you found me....

This song took me for a walk down the lane of nostalgia..My life flipped like pages from some ol' book in front of my eyes in those 4 minutes...

Those back benches of my class where I used to sit and watch her the whole day though I mastered that art but was caught on my lucky days and mam used to send me out of the class straight away...But then it was blessin in disguise coz it always allowed me see her face...I can still see that face whenever I close my eyes...That sunlight from the window which used to occasionally divert her attention from concepts of biology and the moments when she accidentally used to look into my eyes(still can do anythin for that look)....Those morning classes when I used to eagerly wait for her roll number to get a glimpse of her n the ones in which I forgot to call my name coz I was busy lookin forward to her number...Those lunch packs that I never opened coz she was going to canteen with her frenz(Of course its associated some serious verbal thrashin @ home...But the first part was more beautiful to be a serial offender) and those days without lunch when she had no plans to go to canteen and I left mine at home...

Those last periods which always seemed like the longest one and were confidants of my acts of takin a book out of bag and puttin it back again to get the perfect timin and walkin few steps with her with my heart pumpin like a 1000W speaker at full volume...Those acts of innocence of pretendin to talkin to friends and lurkin behind their shoulders to look her till that last moment and then lookin up in the sky and prayin for juz one more look which sometimes was granted and she used to pass by like a wind...Phew...That magic in the air....


Those borin weekends when the only job at hand was to go to her place at least once a day with plannin all sort of things but runnin for cover at her first sight....Those rainy days when I used to stand right outside her place and wishin for her one look(which incidentally god never granted..you owe me one GOD) for which I am still under debt of my frenz many of whom fell sick after standin in that downpour....

Those telephone calls for which I used to push my sisters out of room(for privacy of course)...Those endless topics and discussions that never made any sense and those plans which never materialized...All this and a lot more....Its been days, months, years but for me all this was yesterday and will always be....I believe thts wat Love is the one you never get....

Here's the reason for this post:

A result for Life

08 Jan 4 PM
Someone on PG said that CAT results are out..I began a fanatic attempt to check mine for next 2 hrs...As the time kept on movin ppl started pourin in their scores some fantastic n some dismal..Some gave a sense of envy and some made me skeptical of the future..I even tried sendin couple of texts but all I got was a reply that results will be out on 9th Jan..Finally I gave up my quest with time n decided to check the results on 9th only.

Had a sleepless night a bit of which could be attributed to anxiety and rest to some relatives who had come for a night stay..I woke up at my usual time @7 AM and sent a text in a hope to see my result..I don't know if I should say that luckily I was able to see my result or too bad that I saw my result but in either case I got my result. A chill ran down my spine when I saw it. A meager 98%ile that would not get me even top 10 colleges leave alone IIMs. The world came crashin' down on me. It seemed to me that I have lost everythin and have nowhere to go. A sense of dejection encapsulated me, a burden of failure suppressed me. The first question that came to my mind was "Why me?"

Flashback--3 months
CAT was round the corner with just days to go. Though I gave in my best effort in studies but the only thing that lacked was confidence. With so much hype surrounding those two and a half hours I was sure that it is not my cup of tea and a seat in of the top 20 colleges would have satiated my desire of higher learning. Then came the D day, luckily I did pretty well even more than what I expected with such a low confidence. I know I could have got 3-4 questions right which eventually made the difference but I would attribute it to lack of confidence than the lack of practice.

I came back home and checked my answers on various coaching institutes sites which further sky rocketed my expectations. I was sure of bagging couple of IIM calls so rest of the exams were just about killin 3 hours and gettin some practice for the sake of money I had spent on application. As the days passed my belief of securing an IIM call grew with people around me confirming the same on the basis of my score. So much so that I completely rejected the possibility of happening otherwise unware of what the future has in store for me.

09 Jan: Today
Now I sit back and look at what I have earned and what I have lost in this result. Ofcourse I have earned the confidence of achieveing what I am capable of but at the same time I have also earned the fear of losing what I have right now(read: not even gettin 98 next time). The tussle between these two thoughts is tearin me apart. In the end its gonna be my decision and I don't expect much this time, just a hope that few years down the lane I don't have to sit and wish that I should have gone the other way...

I need hope, i need luck, i need wishes, i need 'em all but most of all I need courage....

My view on Global Markets

Lehman, AIG, Barclays..etc etc..I ve been listening all sorts of Financial names for past few days. Although i already had my share my acquaintance with these names but from a different angle altogether. For example Lehman to me is a former Australian Cricketer and plays for Rajasthan Royals in IPL nowadays. Barclays are the main sponsors of premier league and likewise AIG for ManU. This news gave a different perspective to my acquaintance with these names. This was the only impact this news made in made life. Although it created havoc at dalal street and likes of it in different countries, channels like CNBC ran hours of stories on this. Experts around the world gave their inputs someone termed it as Global Meltdown or US meltdown. UTVi barged into a party at ISB and interviewed couple of worried students who shared their nightmares while chewing their fingers off to make it look more realistic. Banking to me is a process that starts from 1st of every month and goes on till 5th of the same month.

Well, this is another post which has been in pipeline for couple of months and a lot has been happened during this period to add by courtesy Common Admission Test. Satyam plummeted and Nortel filed for bankruptcy couple of days back. So much has been said and done regarding this forcing governments around to world to spend billions of hard earned money of their tax payers. Though I read few days back in the papers that AIG is best utilizing this bailout package to give incentives to higher management to retain staff. What an innovative way to deal with crisis I wonder if this is what Wharton and Harward taught them.

This is one of the largest sub prime crisis in the economic history of the world because the epicenter of this fiasco was Wall Street the economic center of the world. Companies around the world shunned the staff some small ones even closed their shops. All this added to the panic around the world and stock markets around the world corroborated it. People lost millions in this run down the hill. But my maths logic says that if some loses them someone has to gain which can be confirmed by the statement that 'energy can neither be created nor destroyed it can only be transferred from one body to another'.

The question here is who gained from all this Mr. Raju or likes of him? Truly speaking Mr. Raju didn't embezzled any fund meant for the company he just inflated sheets to raise his stock value which he kept on rollin out at regular intervals. He had all intention to cover it all up by Maytas deal but investors were too concerned about 5400 crores which basically didn't existed. That deal could have been a blessin in disguise after all a stock worth Rs. 360 is much better off at Rs. 180 than at Rs. 6.30 thanks to our prudent investors.But our gujju bhais are even cashin on this. The share is being traded in abysmal figures everyday thereby generating lakhs of revenues for its investors.(what else can you expect from a stock)

I don't know what good or bad all this has done to the world but one thing is for sure it taught me a lot about the other side of the world and yess it also added to the revenue of my paperwalah who got another anxious, ignorant and educated Indian lookin for a copy of Economic Times...

India United

Sep 14 2008

I got a call from a friend of mine to check if I ve survived yet another series of blasts. I followed the suit and called up all near and dear ones to check if they were fine. That is the only action that comes to our mind when somethin like this happens in our country. Buddin TV news channels and reporters try to get the best shot by showing the smudges of blood on roads, ripped dustbins and askin terrified people silly questions. This is the only thing we are concerned with, condemning everythin but waitin for someone else to take a step for us(This includes me as well).

This post has been in pipeline for past 3 months and in the mean time we have been rocked by gruesome acts like Mumbai attacks and several blasts around the country(But we are used to these small incidents now). News channels swung into action as soon as they struck, clickin pictures or injured people, interviewing commandos or rescued hostages. They even went ahead and showed the live footage of rescue operations endangering the lives or both the hostages and the commandos executing the operation.

Some of our prestigious leaders made this a communal issue and tried to cash in votes. Congress and UPA leaders termed Mr. Hemant Karkare are martyr and propagated his death as supreme sacrifice in the line of duty just because he was involved in a hindu bashin case prior to his death. They even went aboard and speculated his death as handiwork or Hindu extremists tryin to save their sorry face in Malegaon blasts. These are the same pseudo secularists who doubted the sacrifice of Inspector M.L Sharma when he was gunned down by terrorists in Jamia and even claimed that he was killed by police only and not by those innocent students of Jamia who were wrongly framed.

These acts of vote bank politics create a friction between two sections of society in a time when they both should hold together. Shahrukh Khan said in an interview that there are two versions of Islam, one which was originally created generations back as a sapling of islam and the other one created and used by Mullah's for their own selfish purposes. This might be his only statement that I completely agree with. The need of the hour is to stand United rather than fight amonst ourselves and die. We have tried solvin this issue by may ways like demolishin babri, killin kar sevaks, bombin temples etc etc I think standin united is the only option left. This is the only way India can triumph.

Things you should do at workplace!!!

When i joined my organization I was determined to work like every other fresher is...

I was lookin forward to workin in a live project n perform to my best level. But ironically IT companies prefer to keep a person on bench when he is most willing to work. And, its only after couple of months when the person learns exactly how to shy away from work or how to play games at office they put him to some serious work. Its because of that experience I am sittin in office n writing bout wat you shd do at office...
This might not be an exhaustive list as then it wd look like a jargon but still it has few kinks that might help you start..Specially for few frenz of mine who still work religiously after almost an yr of toiling their sweat for their respective PMs..

1. Holidays. If you really need a big day off never risk it in advance. Office is not a multiplex where it will get house full if u are late in booking the tickets. Instead its like making night with a babe, if you plan it in advice you ll ruin the fun n also either she will definitely fall sick on D Day or her parents would be visiting her. Therefore, always call in sick the very last minute( From the pub). Don't worry somebody will be covering for you even if it means that they have to leave their girlfriends to come to office for your work. It's not charity you know and anyway it's not your fault that he get to see his girlfriend once in six months.

2. Horde. If you have any idea that might help someone at workplace to work more efficiently then make sure you never discuss it with anyone. Because this would mean trouble for you coz if you two are in diff teams then your manager will coax you to compete him or worse if you are in same team then you will have more work on your table for which you ll have to give away ur sleepin, chattin, coffee or some other constructive time at office. The motto shd be "To have and to hold".

3. Undermine. If someone talks bout a brilliant idea in a meeting never forget to ridicule it. Point out every way it can and it will fail. Tell everybody how a friend of urs applied this idea at his office and all of them lost their jobs, homes and few of 'em were even jailed. It will seem tough in first few encounters but slowly you have to master the art. The idea here is not only to get the idea thrown out but the motto should be to send the person out along with the idea.

4. Deny. Never accept a mistake you did. If you screwed up blame it on somebody and everybody. Blame it on the timid office mouse who never moves off his cubicle, blame it on anyone who was in vicinity of ur desk in last 6 months. And if nothin works you can always blame everythin on Pakistanis, at the end of the day they are the reason of all our problems..right??

4. Cell Phones. Never ever keep ur cellphones on silent mode and doin so in a meeting is strict no no. Cellphones are like status symbol in office and the frequency of calls represents how much busy that person is. If ur fren calls you in between a meeting raise your cellphone to signal everybody to be silent and then discuss with ur fren then why can't you come before 10 on fri night for his surprise birthday party and how much work you have(dun forget to txt him after the meeting that you ll be there by 6). If anybody else's phone should ring nod ur head in disapproval and whisper "disgraceful" so that its audible to everyone in the room. Never reject a call from some credit card company or some other marketing company these are like loosners which u can slog for six. As soon as they tell you bout product say that you are very busy and ask them to call you on weekend. Try to be a bit loud so that your manager can hear this.

5. Shadow. Always leave 30 secs after your manager leave and come 30 seconds early. This will make ur manager think that you are committed to the company. If by chance someone comes late or leaves early don't forget to shake ur head in disapproval whilst making some noise that your manager makes a note about that person.

6. Drinks. Coffee is used as aspirin in office and its intake shows how much workload a person has. So if you dun take coffee then you better strt gettin cups from pantry after every couple of hours and dumpin 'em in bin after few minutes i.e. if you can't drink it. But at the end of the day there must be at least 4-5 empty cups of coffee in the bin next to your seat. This will confirm your manager's belief that this guy is really workin his head out.

So now since you have been thru the preliminary course on "how to survive at workplace" I hope you all will be able to apply all these fundas at ur workplace too. Any suggestions to make life good for me at my workplace are welcomed...

The Monk who did somethin crazy...

Ahem!!!

Its really a dauntin' task to spare out few minutes to write a blog...But I do enjoy wen m being paid for it...Yess Being paid!!!!
Dun' jump off ur seat my company dun know that they are payin me for writin my blog...Well to me this is in compensation of those evenings I ve spent in office and those weekends I ve devoted to attendin unnecessary trainings...

Well there has been lot many happenings in my life in past few weeks...But couldn't pen 'em all coz of time crunch...
While most of them were mishaps but the biggest of 'em all was The Return of Mak (Sounds like the Star Wars IV: The Return of Jedi)... But u won't believe it was much worse (pun intended).... I had to explicitly specify that unlike those flamboyant authors who make their words speak aloud with expressions....

Couple of days back I was skimmin through my old books n suddenly I found this nice little book which an altruistic fren of mine game me way back in college with a pretty decent feedback...But I never really got any opportunity to read that or I should say never really felt like readin it... But this time my alter ego cried from within n asked me to read it once...So I took it out n sat down on my bed to read one of the bestseller (that's what the cover claimed). The name of the book said somethin like "The Monk who sold his Ferrari". This line made my mind go bonkers...How in the world can a monk a Ferrari....maybe be he loaned it somehow n that’s why he had to sell it...I thought this book might help me in gettin a Ferrari for myself too (Though I won't sell it afterwards also I plan to pay the complete duty and taxes unlike our esteemed cricketer "He who should not be named”). Well I opened the book...The author had expressed gratitude to almost every living person on this planet...Now I was able to figure it out why the book was a bestseller coz 90% of the people would have a bought it to find a suitable name for their children as that book had almost every possible livin name in it....But god had somethin else in store for me...Before I could satiate my growin suspense I had to leave for some work (Explicit Content - Word Censored).

But today mornin I got a sight of it while gettin ready for office...n I quickly slipped it my bag so that I can satisfy myself with extract of such a grateful writer..Who knows my name also be might there...n moreover it can't be worse than the chaos that I get to see everyday while commutin to office....I never understood why do ppl always hurry to office wen they can relax and can go a bit late well as far as I am concerned I constitute that segment of junta which uses Company Transport to commute...Which a person in normal circumstances should never do...Well for me I would say... “Good Judgment Comes from Experience and experience comes from bad judgment.”

So after waitin for a bit longer than 15 mins on the bus stop I should have guessed that today might not be the right day to read this masterpiece but as I said above u need experience for it. So finally the bus came n boarded quickly and bombed myself at a nice lookin and seemingly comfortable seat...Took the book out and kept my bag aside...n I started.... It started with a courtroom scene in which a lawyer had a heart attack...poor fella...Then the author started describin the lawyer...That guy had some serious Midas touch...He had all a person could dream of (This line refers specifically to the male community as other half generally looks for a guy with all that rather than lookin for all those things directly). With all that money around I was surely gainin some serious interest in it but somehow I got hit by a canon...That idiot sold everythin and left for India....It was like the most weird thing one could have ever done...I mean if u got some serious heart problem get a cardio machine man n work out on it...At max it ll cost few grands wats the purpose of sellin each n everythin??And even if for some reason u did...why the hell are u comin to India?? To Get mugged up or wat???

Enough of this crazy person....I said to myself

I was hopin that this guy might help me buyin one for myself instead he might drive me to sell the one I own...

With dark clouds hoverin my mind...I closed the book hurriedly as if I was readin some porn magazine content which has been spotted by some school teacher...This rapid action of mine left the sittin next to me droolin...He really thought that I had a copy of debonair which he could lay his hands on...Before he could say somethin i quickly flashed the book cover out and he instantaneously turned his head..Maybe he had a similar experience as me...Even m gonna behave like that at the sight of that book next time onwards...

I wish to god that he shower his blessings on my fren as well as on the author and especially on all those whose names were mentioned there...I dun know wat they would have sold after readin this book....

As far as book is concerned...Its still in my bag as of now...But its juz a matter of couple of hrs before it gets lost again in that rubble of anonymity where it came from...and my quest for a masterpiece which could really help me buy a Ferrari continues....An Endless Quest...

Freaky Friday!!!!

Friday 7:oo AM
Unknown location in my Bedroom:

Somthin' start buzzing and m still seeing that beautiful gal that I met last night she had that charisma around her that kept attracting me towards her the whole night. My friends have been askin me to go n talk to her for past so many hours but am a bit hesitant. The party is about to be over and soon everybody will be leavin for their homes....Shit!!!!.. I don't even know her name. :-( Maybe its time to go and talk to her she might just talk. I started counting my heartbeat 72...75...79...82....89...90 I mite faint till I reach there. I took a long breath n started walkin a bit faster my mind is bamboozed with so many thoughts "what if she already have a boyfriend", "wat if he is Schwarzenegger types" , "or maybe she don't even like boys coz I haven't seen a single boy around her all night"."Hi am Ankur"I said in a bit hesitant tone."I know..I ve been seeing you the whole night “She said with a smile on her face as if She was waitin for me to come to her n talk."Whhhaa....whhhattt!!!"I blurred. She got up and started talkin but I couldn't hear what she was sayin maybe the place was too noisy.. Maybe the music was gettin louder gradually..Hey wait a minute isn’t that the tone of my phone!!!!
I lie on my bed facing towards the ceiling and my phone alarm gettin louder each n every second. I find my way through the haywire on my bed to find that object(Dunno who invented it but I felt like killing that person that very moment..I wish I shd have studied in my school days so that I must have know who invented alarm or phone so that at least I could have cursed them). "Snooze" said one the button on that irritatin device to kill that sound. Suddenly there is a pin drop silence in my room which is soon broken by knock on the door.
Mom came in and said "Beta jaldi tayaar ho ja nahin toh late ho jayega."
"Aaj kya day hai??" My usual question for 5 horrendous days(Mon-Fri).
"Beta aaj Friday hai kal so lena."She said with a smiling face then switched on the light and went towards the kitchen.

"Why does god had to make FRIDAY"... If he wanted 7 days in a week so dreadly he could have added another Sunday am sure everyone would have loved that. But at that moment I could have even managed with a single week with 4 weekdays.... At least I could have spoken to that gal na...
"Jo bhi ho she was amazin"...I said to myself.
I lie on my bed as if I have just completed the Guinness record of being awake for max days. I heard couple of days back that someone managed without that for 16 days
"Wat a loser."....I thought
With that I started recollectin my thoughts..tryin to reconnect to that dream which I had to stop in between and I was almost successful when 5 minutes of extra time got over and referee blowed the same ring tone again and I lost this time too without scorin a single goal. This time I gently pressed the "Stop" button as I was in a better state of consciousness than the previous time and I knew I won't be gettin a new phone until iPhone is launched in India. I got up cursing everyone in this world from guy that sold me that phone to the person who interviewed me and selected me.

11:00 AM
Undisclosed location in Ggn(It’s not Area 51 it’s my office!!!)

"Aaj kis kis ka match hai yaar" Someone in the next cubicle asked.
"Delhi Daredevils vs. Rajasthan Royals...It’s the first semi final"...I said proudly as my city somehow crippled to the semis..
"Aaj to Veeru kamaal karega tum dekhna..."A third person too joined the conversation.

12:30 PM

"Abe last match mein Mumbai kharaab kheli nahin toh woh pahunch jaati" Now we were gettin people to support almost every team...

01:15 PM

"Lag gayi shart..shaam ko pata chal jayega..Beta Rajasthan is by far the best team in the tournament" A proud Rajasthan supporter said..
The deal was sealed and the bet was on...Now all pressure was on Warny n Veeru.

03:00 PM

I just came back from a team lunch.. A teammate of mine was leaving the organization to do his MBA.
"I am doin it for the betterment of the society"..That’s wat he wrote in his last mail to us.
I thought wat do I have to do for the betterment of the society??
Maybe go back to sleep or or...
Oh Shitt!!! I had a call to attend at 2..I rushed towards the conf room hoping that my TL mite not have bothered to ask about me.

05:00 PM

Sssshhhhh... m still in call...These ppl are talkin in Spanish...
"Hey guys Antonio needs to leave early today so we will be ending the call at 3:30 our time i.e. 7 PM ur time." Said my TL.
"Do Spanish ppl also watch IPL??"...I asked myself..
"Maybe...after all it’s pretty popular and with these cheerleaders around there were pretty good chances that they might do"...
"Well watever!!! But I should have asked for somethin bigger than this today..."I told myself..

07:14 PM

I fired down the stairs as the elevators in these DLF buildings are awful and the match would have ended by the time I would got one to take me to Lobby..

Few Minutes Later(Dun know the time)

"Sir dekhna aaj Delhi jeet jayegi" Said another Delhi fan unaware of neither my past nor future of Delhi Team...
"Aapko drop karke main bhi ghar jaake match hi dekhoonga"...The cabbie continued...
"Mera ghar aapke ghar ke paas hi hai"......
"Bhaiya Radio chala dijiye please" I said a gentle no to all Gyan uploadin that he was tryin to do on my Server....
The rest of the journey was silent with romantic songs from Jab We Met playin n I thinkin bout the gal I met yesterday night....

10:00 PM

I didn't said to anyone that Delhi was gonna win this one. I always say may the best team win. With these thoughts I tried flippin through the channels but thanks to growin news channels every time I flipped a channel I saw a new headline
"Delhi ko teesra jhatka"...
"Delhi ka chautha wicket out"...
"Dilshan bhi pavilion mein"....
"Delhi semi final haar gaya!!!"..Said one channel who claims to be sabse tez..
I quickly switched to Set Max and saw few batsmen still tryin their luck out...
Maybe the news channel crew had foresightedness...Well in this case everybody had that...I had that almost 30 mins back...
I closed my TV and sat in front of my PC...See I dun like playin Nicolas Cage in Next..I dun like predictin things so am better off doin things which I can't predict...
After 2 1/2 hours of rigorous surfin and a bit of bloggin(yup my first one) am finally over with this freaky Friday...

01:00 AM

I lie on my bed in almost similar position in which I woke up to this mornin lookin forward to another Freaky Friday in my life...Or maybe a Subtle Saturday this time.....

The Past....The History

Okay..
What!!! I can't believe that my first word in the world of bloggin' is OKAY!!!Well how lame that sounds. Anyways to start with I am still wondering why am I doin this blog thingy outta all things in the world. The truth is I love to write but I am sure nobody would bother to spend a penny of his/her on my writing well after all am no Chetan Bhagat or Dan Brown for that matter(Those are 2 of the very few names I know). So I thought this mite be a good idea to try and write things and get them published who cares if people dun read 'em and send me fan mails I am still a writer.

So lets carry on with a bit about me. Well I am another software engineer in this billion strong industry and work for another MNC who truly believes humans are as good as robots and they dun even need electricity to get charged up. I don't have much plans to tell a lot about me coz if I do so this blog will be banned coz of explicit content. When I opened Blogspot in my browser the first glimpse gave me a obsured feeling thought wats the purpose of blogging dude lets close this and get to bed but then another half of me asked me to just login and try 'n' write couple of lines n lets see how it goes. So somehow I manged to log in and then came the bouncer "Name your Blog" see am very bad is naming things or people for that matter(but still managed to coin Mak for a fren of mine which he still flashes with a flamboyant style but it was also me who nicknamed his another fren Vasco yes Vasco after the Legendary Vasco De Gama. See my fren dun have any grudges for that..am I right mate???). So back to naming the blog I strted thinking what word could ideally replace me n voila I have found another fantasic(I know its an Understatement) term for myself "THE AVALANCHE". Everytime I think things are going great and everything is stable at its position the world comes crashin' down on me. Yess this "crashin' down" gave me idea for the Blog Address. Hmmm.. I think u all must be havin a fair idea now of this first step of mine towards ummmm....(m still thinkin' of a word to put here plz post in comments if you have any)